No Direction In Life At 50 – Top tips on how to reinvent yourself & create the life of your dreams
Reinventing yourself at 50 – Create a new you!
No direction in life at 50? There’s something about hitting 50 that really packs a punch! I remember getting to 40 and feeling excited, I was full of hope and aspirations and had recently moved to Rio De Janeiro with my then wife starting a brand new chapter.
Ten years plus on and life looks very different, my 40’s turned out to be the most disruptive and heart breaking ones of my life with many curve balls, lessons and transitions. I ended up dealing with mental illness (my partners), financial ruin (I had left my big media career in London to start my new life which drained my entire savings), IVF treatment which resulted in a miscarriage and a divorce! I felt truly blown over and winded by life, all my dreams came crashing down around me and my confidence hit rock bottom. On top of all of that also came the beloved perimenopause!
I’m sharing all of this because I spent most of the latter years of my 40’s recovering and healing on the South Coast of the UK, Brighton, not strategically planning my dream future. I felt completely lost with no direction in life at 50, in a job that didn’t inspire me or keep me in a lifestyle that I was accustomed too whilst also looking for a reciprocal love that truly nourished me and felt like home.
Whatever your story is we all have our challenges in life, some more than others, that’s part of the fabric of life. When I hit 50 I started to wake up in so many ways and slowly integrated all of those beautiful and valuable lessons in my 40’s.
It’s a time to embrace your evolution with grace, confidence, and curiosity, recognizing that reinvention isn’t about chasing the past but stepping boldly into a vibrant future. Whether it’s pursuing a long-held passion, redefining your style, nurturing your body in new ways, or shifting your mindset, this chapter is yours to shape. The beauty of change lies in the freedom it brings—the freedom to be unapologetically yourself, to rewrite your story, and to step into the world with a renewed sense of purpose, power, and joy.
Let’s begin to look into how we can make this the next best chapter of our lives, the most amazing story is right around the corner if we dare to create it!
Rewriting your next chapter at 50
Step 1: Creating your Future Self Identity
We’re pulled forward by the future we are most committed too, and this all centres around the identity of ourselves that we are most committed too. Identity is EVERYTHING, if you can’t SEE yourself being the person that gets up every morning and does a 20 minute HITT workout, instead of pressing the snooze button and going straight for the coffee then back to bed, it won’t happen!
Last year I did the 4 day Unleash the Power Within event with Tony Robbins, it was incredible. I was reminded of the importance of knowing where you are currently at, where you’re starting from, it’s only then can you know where you’re heading. You need to switch the internal sat nav on and map out your route to your ultimate dream life, I would invite you to start off by doing the Wheel Of Life exercise to get a sense of your current position in all areas of your life.
The reason for doing anything is either to approach something you want to make happen, or to avoid something you don’t want to happen. As a rule, 80 percent of people are primarily driven by fear or avoidance. For example you may go to work because you fear losing your house if you can’t pay the mortgage. Being driven by fear is a lower state of consciousness than being driven by courage and vision.
Shifting our goals from fear-based, reactive and short term, to long term and love based will lead to authentic goals and a future that really makes your heart sing. Your view of your future self is the compass that draws you forward.
Step two: Closing the Gap
Now let’s look at your results from the wheel of life exercise, take a deep breath, create some quiet time away from the distractions of the world with your favourite drink, candle and a notebook and pen. Put your hand on your heart, breathe deeply into it and ask yourself what you truly desire in those areas of your life.
One way of doing this is by writing a letter to your future self in 10 years time. Look at the questions below to inspire you and make it as detailed and vivid as possible. Be really kind and gentle on yourself when you first do this, sometimes you may feel blocked and nothing comes up, take small steps and just allow your vision to appear. You may not get it down all in one sitting so take a few days, play with it and just enjoy it, allow your mind to wander and dream.
Because as human beings we are so wired to look at the negatives and what we don’t want, if you are struggling, look at what you don’t want. For example I don’t want to be in lack around money and only earn £25,000 a year, I’m fed up of not being able to do what I want to do. Then ask “so what do I want”? This could look like “I am earning over £100,000 a year and have full freedom to do what I want, when I want on the things I love doing”.
Start building your future self now by answering the below questions, think of it as writing a new chapter in a book and suspend reality for a while, take all limitations away and think big and bold! Imagine the biggest most beautiful version of you, irrespective of where you are now.
- How do I spend my time?
- How much money do I make?
- Where do I live?
- What’s my home like?
- Who am I with?
- What’s my primary relationship like?
- Who are my friends?
- What do I look like?
- How do I feel?
Step 3: Identify the Blocks
Ok, so by now you hopefully have a good idea of where you would love to be in 10 years time? Even if it’s just an outline for now you can keep building on it over the next few weeks/months. Life is often a process of elimination so start eliminating the things that aren’t working for you, new habits, people and situations will then shift and reveal themselves along the path as your own energy and self awareness changes.
One of the best books that I have read on re-inventing yourself and becoming your future self is Be Your Future Self Now by Dr. Benjamin Hardy, it’s a book you will want to keep reading! I created the below template after reading the book twice so I could really understand and see how I was getting in my own way!
Unfortunately as we get older some behaviour patterns that are actually working against us can be really hard to see and shift. In reality the truth is that your results show you who you are and what you are committed too, so if your not where you would like to be then there is absolutely a block.
If you feel brave enough then a great way to uncover your blind spots is to ask the people closest to you, those friends that love you so much that they want to be honest (but kind and supportive) or your partner/spouse who knows you intimately. Remember here that you are looking for honest, kind and constructive feedback that will nourish you and give you an extra set of eyes and perspective, not an attack on your character!
Please download the template and start filling it out, it’s in excel and you can delete the watermark image over the top, any issues please reach out! I have completed one that will guide you and start you off.
Step 4: Write Out your Future Self Identity Vision
Now we need to consolidate our vision of our future self, you need to remember that your future self is a totally different person than you are today. They see the world differently, they have different goals and concerns, they have different situations and different habits. Appreciate how temporary you’re current self and thinking is and have complete love and respect for her, but it’s also critical to see your future self as a different person than who you are today. This is freeing and exciting, you will change and evolve and you don’t need all the answers right now.
When you start seeing your future self as a different person you can connect with her and ask her questions, like she’s your best friend. If you’re in a challenging relationship now that doesn’t align with your vision of what a loving partnership looks like then go inward, access that desired vision and actually talk to your future you. What steps would she take? How would she encourage you to grow? What sound advice would she give you? If you sit quietly and patiently with yourself the answers will come, often in the form of quiet whispers.
Now based on all the work we have done above, let’s write out a short version of your vision of your future self, life and new identity. Remember this won’t happen overnight, you will need to address your blocks and habits that aren’t currently serving you, so it’s crucial that you hold your vision close and be kind, gentle and patient with yourself. Repetition and consistency is key, I am a huge fan of Bob Proctor, in my mind the king of achieving goals.
Stating everything in the current tense with gratitude is also crucial as it merges your identity with that future, when we say things like “I am trying”, “I hope one day”, “I will be….” then it separates us energetically from who and what we desire to become, “I want” is another huge no go, it is completely based in lack. We need to imagine and FEEL that we are living that future life now whilst also being grounded, loving and grateful for where we are now, it’s a challenging balancing act!
This is my vision that I wrote out to inspire you and get you started…..
I am so happy and grateful now that I am earning £10,000 a month as a solopreneur doing something that lights me up, inspires me and serves and supports thousands of women globally.
I love choosing to live and work from anywhere in the world in the sunshine, with who I want, when I want and on issues I feel passionate and energised about.
I am so happy and grateful now that I experience this life with my soul mate. I have the greatest recipcoral love that my heart and soul could ever have imagined. My marriage is full of support, love, growth, adventure, health and safety. I feel so heard, seen and adored every day and my partnership is full of ease and loving intimacy.
I consistently feel uplifted, creative and so grateful for my life, I know that I live in a friendly universe and I make positive meaning out of all my experiences. I know that ultimately what I FEEL is then the quality of my life.
Step 5: Fire and Wire Your Future Self – Joe Dispenza
I am also a huge fan of Joe Dispenza and he talks about firing and wiring new pathways that will lead you to a new identity, habits and behaviours. This is what he suggests…..
- Write intention and dream life down with pen daily – I have mine printed out and laminated and even have one under my pillow!
- Read it silently every morning and evening and throughout the day if you can
- Read it aloud every morning and evening and throughout the day if you can
- Visualise it – great meditation below with Jess to get you started – I visualise when I wake up and before I go to sleep as your brainwaves are more receptive at these times of the day
- Heart mode, breathe into your heart space and feel the gratitude for this new life
- Help at least one person a day….share the love and cultivate positive feelings…..smile, listen, hug, love, BE your future self now!
Final Thoughts
It’s so important to remember that if we don’t see ourselves as a different person, doing/being/behaving in different ways then our current/old selves will always win and get in the way. I’ve tried so hard in the past to change my life in various ways when I didn’t feel fulfilled and happy, but I always ended up in self sabotage.
When we focus on our identity and a vision of who we desire to become then we can start to make the changes. It’s not about changing what’s happening outside of us or blaming anything/anyone for our unfulfilled lives, that just doesn’t work and you have zero control over external circumstances and people. It’s about getting back in the driving seat of your precious life and understanding with deep knowing and clarity that you are the creator of your own reality and only you can build your dream future.
It’s also crucial to take it step by step and be super kind, gentle and patient with yourself. You have spent many years, often unconsciously, creating this current version of you, it has a vested interest in staying alive and fighting back so expect resistance!
I will be writing more posts on manifestation and expanding on all the above so watch this space!
Handpicked Support for Your Midlife Journey:
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🎥 Helpful Videos to Deepen Your Understanding
Video – Dr Joe Dispenza – I listen to this every day
Amazing evening future self visualization – I do this every night, consistency is key!
Conclusion: If my future self could have told me…
- Stay patient, kind and gentle with yourself, change is hard and it will all happen on it’s own timeframe
- Know that nothing is set in stone, you are the creator of your reality and can craft a new version of you at any given moment
- You are more powerful than you could ever imagine
- When the student is ready the teacher appears
- Trust in yourself and the universe, it always has your back and wants the best life you can imagine for yourself
- Look for the good in life and always focus on the solution, not the problem
- You came into this world to be the best version of you, it’s already inside of you, now you need to uncover it layer by layer
YES to all of this… thank you for such an insightful and aspiring post. I particularly love the “You came into this world to be the best version of you, it’s already inside of you, now you need to uncover it layer by layer”. We often forget this and it’s the pinnacle of who we truly are.