Signs Of Midlife Crisis In A Woman – Do you have the unshakeable feeling that something is missing?
What Is The Ultimate Definition Of a Midlife Crisis In Women?
“It’s the season where a woman’s heart whispers louder than the world’s noise — and she finally listens.”
Midlife can feel like a quiet storm — one that stirs up emotions, questions, and cravings for change that are impossible to ignore. For many women, it’s not about a dramatic meltdown, but a series of subtle, powerful shifts both inside and out. You might wake up one morning feeling restless in a life you once loved, or start questioning decisions you thought were set in stone.
Recognizing the signs of a midlife crisis isn’t about diagnosing yourself — it’s about understanding the emotional, identity, and behavioral changes that are part of a powerful transformation.
What Are The Key Symptoms and How Do They Show Up?
1. A deep feeling of restlessness or dissatisfaction.
Even if everything looks good on the outside — career, family, lifestyle — something inside feels unsettled, like something important is missing. This can feel so disorientating because as humans we are “meaning makers”, we look outside ourselves to find the “problem” for these feelings of lack and deep dissatisfaction.
Sometimes it can be obvious and we feel reassured that we’ve found the answer, hooray, we can solve it! However, more often than not it can bring sadness and confusion when we can’t come up with any real reason, even a sense of shame if we have what on the outside looks like the perfect life.
2. Questioning major life choices.
You may start wondering if you married the right person, chose the right career, or lived your life “the right way” — even if those decisions once felt certain. There may be a sense of regret, that your best years are behind you and it’s too late to turn the clock back. It’s completely natural that we change, in fact we all live in 7 year cycles (I’ll talk more about that in other posts), so you can’t expect to be the same person with the same desires and goals.
3. An intense desire for change.
This can show up as wanting to move to a new city, start a new career, end a long-term relationship, or drastically change your appearance. I’ve been feeling like this for years, yearning to do my own thing and create full lifestyle and financial freedom.
4. A focus on lost dreams or missed opportunities.
Regret can start to creep in about roads not taken — like passions you abandoned or adventures you never pursued.
“In the middle of your journey, when the path seems lost, it is your soul calling you home.” — Brené Brown
5. Feeling invisible or disconnected from your sense of identity.
As kids grow up, careers plateau, or routines become monotonous, you might feel like you’ve lost touch with who you really are beyond your roles as a mother, partner, employee, etc. For me the boredom really set in, life felt so monotonous, is this really it I thought to myself? Are all the best adventures, new experiences, friends and meaning behind me?
6. Heightened anxiety about aging.
Not just about appearance (though that’s common), but a deeper fear about running out of time to achieve meaningful goals or “become” the person you always envisioned. It can feel like a race against time and there is a tendency to be extremely hard on yourself.
For me it felt like really……I’m still dealing with these relationship challenges, I’m still not earning what I know I’m capable of. This can lead to a dark place so I certainly wouldn’t recommend staying down this rabbit hole for too long.
7. Seeking new passions or purpose.
You may throw herself into new hobbies, interests, or causes, searching for something that lights you up again and gives your life renewed meaning. Personally I am a huge fan of this! Why not, get into the habit of saying yes and explore different sides of yourself and open up new opportunities and experiences.
8. Mood swings, depression, or emotional burnout.
The emotional rollercoaster can be real — excitement about new possibilities one day, deep sadness or regret the next. Burnout is real and it’s a serious condition, I’ve seen it happen to people I love and the pressure they put on themselves.
What often drives this is the feeling that time is running out, time to set up that new business and build financial freedom, time to spend quality time with your parents as they age and need more care, time to make that dream move abroad……it turns into overwhelm. All this can lead to chronic anxiety and depression, it’s so important to find balance.
9. Changes in relationships.
Some friendships may start to feel shallow or unfulfilling, and there may be a desire to pull closer to authentic connections while letting go of ones that feel draining. I wrote about this in Is It Normal To Have No Friends In Your 50’s.
10. A pull toward authenticity over approval.
Maybe for the first time in decades, you stop caring as much about meeting everyone’s expectations — and start caring a lot more about meeting your own. This in itself can create huge shifts in your relationships and often comes with judgement around “you changing and not being the person you used to be” i.e often a people pleaser and meeting their needs and expectations before your own! I will be writing future posts on boundary setting and conflict resolution in relationships.
Do you recognise themes in your own life from the above, does it resonate? You may be feeling panicked wondering how an earth you manage all of this, and use this huge transition in your life for greater meaning and purpose.
Before we look into some powerful ways you can support yourself through a midlife crisis let’s take a look at some inspirational quotes to lighten the mood!
“Midlife is when the universe grabs you by the shoulders and says: ‘I’m not kidding. Use the gifts you were given.'” — Brené Brown
“What we call a midlife crisis is simply the growing pains of becoming real.”
“Your body changes. Your roles change. Your dreams evolve. Midlife is the bridge between who you thought you were and who you are becoming.”
“Midlife is less about crisis and more about course correction.” — Amy Bloom
“Midlife isn’t about finding youth again. It’s about finding your life again.” — Oprah Winfrey
“Sometimes you have to lose the map to find your true destination.” — Cheryl Strayed
10 Powerful Ways a Woman Can Support Herself Through a Midlife Crisis
1. Allow Yourself to Feel Everything
Give yourself full permission to experience the grief, confusion, excitement, and fear without judgment. Use this time to go inward and really tune in and listen to the whispers, gift yourself the space to do this and do it with lots of self compassion.
Start by simply naming your emotions. Are you feeling Restless? Sad? Trapped? Hopeful? Furious? Relieved? The goal isn’t to “fix” anything right away — it’s to witness what’s alive in you without labeling it good or bad. Awareness is the first step toward transformation.
Sometimes these feelings may feel overwhelming, I’ve always found that movement and any kind of Somatic Body Work like TRE helps to release them. All of these deep realizations can awaken a deeper layer within you that may hold some past trauma, it’s important to allow your body (it’s all held on a cellular level) to let it go and move through it.
2. Create Space for Reflection
Journaling, meditation, creative hobbies, or long walks can help you reconnect with what truly matters to you. Start to gently explore what’s beneath the surface of your feelings, ask yourself…
- What am I truly mourning?
- What dreams have I put on hold — or outgrown?
- What parts of my life feel authentic? Which feel performative or empty?
Sometimes the symptoms of a midlife crisis (like impulsive decisions, frustration, or loneliness) are the surface. The real work is underneath. - What do I truly need for this next phase of my life to nourish me, support me and help me grow into this next version of myself?
- What feels heavy?
- What feels hollow?
- What parts of my life drain my energy rather than restore it?
- What new desires are whispering to me?
- What visions or callings keep tugging at my heart?
Even if it feels scary or unclear, honor the quiet voice inside that says, there’s more for me.
I find that getting out in nature and connecting with things I love helps me to think clearly and gain a sense of perspective. Just give yourself the gift of space and honour the process.
It’s crucial at this point to understand that although often dictated by hormones and life changes, that ALL of your feelings are valid and real. It may feel messy and confusing to begin with but as you allow yourself to move through it a beautiful rebirth will happen! Use this time to get REALLY clear on what you want and need, what brings you joy, what’s taken a back seat and craft that version of you that’s waiting to burst out! Be brave, be bold and be true!
The post I wrote on No Direction In Life At 50 may support you in uncovering some of the above.
3. Prioritize Physical Health
Nourish your body with healthy food, regular movement, and restorative sleep — hormones and emotions are deeply connected. This is a huge one and I’ve written about this in How To Treat Menopause Insomnia and What Are The Top Three Vitamins For Monopause in other posts, check out the Health section of this blog. Although a midlife crisis doesn’t always involve perimenopause or menopause our bodies are significantly changing as we hit midlife.
Many of the issues we have is that we are trying to live the same life we did in our 20’s and 30’s and the world doesn’t want us to slow down. I’ve referenced a book below called Rushing Women’s Syndrome that breaks this all down and provides valuable insight.
4. Build a Strong Support Network
Stay connected with friends, family, or join new communities that remind you you’re not alone in this journey. It can feel really isolating to suddenly not relate to your life anymore, your friends or the career that once gave you meaning. To wake up every day feeling lost and though something is missing can take a huge toll on your mental health and wellbeing.
Through this stage of my life I cut ties with some of my closest friendships (what I thought were close friendships) as I began to transition and align with my core needs and values, you can read more about it in Is It Normal To Have No Friends In Your 50’s.
If you find yourself in this position, go and seek new friendship groups that support you, nourish your soul and feel more in alignment with where your future self is heading.
5. Seek Professional Support
Therapy, coaching, or counseling can help you process emotions and design your next chapter with clarity. I am a huge advocate of coaching as focusing on the past and all your issues isn’t going to solve them, it may only provide some clarity on why you’re here. Over 30 years I have pretty much tried all kinds of therapy, it needs to fit with what works for you.
A good coach will uncover the why whilst also guiding you into your future without getting stuck in regret and rumination. Remember this is a huge opportunity for reinvention, so go forth boldly and work with a coach to clear out what’s not working, and build a new framework and action plan to move you into this next chapter of your life.
6. Explore New Interests or Passions
Try something new — a course, a hobby, a trip, a project — to reignite a sense of curiosity and excitement. Start experimenting and feeling into the possibilities of this new you. I started mountain biking and did the London to Brighton off road (75 miles across country) when I was 48! Start saying YES and build the steps and pathway to your future self.
7. Challenge Limiting Beliefs
Notice old narratives about “being too old” or “it’s too late” — and gently replace them with empowering truths. Through self reflection or coaching start to uncover what’s been holding you back in areas of your life that now feel unfulfilled and empty. Living in an ageist society isn’t easy, but we have to be strong, support and lift each other up and ignore the ridiculous limitations that society dumps on us! Start trying out affirmations and reprogramming your mind to build a new found identity.
I will link some of my favourites below which I listen too as I fall asleep, we are what we think we are and what we tell ourselves 24 hours a day, so take care! Your words and thoughts really are your magic wand so cast a positive spell!
8. Set Boundaries to Protect Your Energy
Start saying no to things that drain you and yes to what feels authentic and fulfilling. As you change your priorities will shift and there are people around you that won’t like that, especially if they are used to you fulfilling their expectations! Be firm but gentle and loving, communicate in the best way you know how and the people that are coming with you on this journey will stay.
9. Treat Yourself with Radical Self-Compassion
Speak to yourself with the same kindness you’d offer your best friend going through a big life change. You are the only person that’s with you 24 hours a day, it’s the most important relationship you will ever have. Self compassion isn’t just a trend or buzz word, it’s a life saver! I’ve been known in the past to be super hard on myself and a high achiever, I know there are lots of us out there!
Whatever changes are taking place through this “midlife crisis” self kindness and compassion are a critical element to getting through it successfully, and building a lifelong bond with you. If you’re tired rest, if you need an early night go and get one, if you need to say no say no. I will link an amazing woman and meditation below who works with you on building self compassion, Kristen Neff.
10. Embrace Midlife as a Beginning, Not an End
See this phase as your opportunity to realign your life with your truest values, dreams, and desires. This is possibly the most exciting time of a woman’s life, a time where you have the opportunity to build your dream life on your terms and be authentically and unapologetically you! Go forth and build the boldest most badass version of you, you’ve got this!
Final Thoughts
Remember, midlife isn’t a crisis to fear — it’s an invitation to transform. This chapter of your life is asking you to shed old expectations, reconnect with your truth, and step fully into your power. Every feeling, every question, every moment of uncertainty is a sign that something beautiful is trying to emerge. Trust yourself. You’re not losing your way — you’re finding a new one. And it’s one that’s even more authentic, more courageous, and more deeply aligned with who you were always meant to be.
Handpicked Support for Your Midlife Journey:
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📝 Journal Prompts & Reflection Ideas
Over the years I’ve learnt that the quality of questions we ask our self is everything, powerful questions can help us reveal our deeper needs and desires.
- If I weren’t afraid, what would I admit to myself about my life right now?
- What parts of me have I hidden or silenced to fit in?
- What new definition of success or happiness feels right for the woman I am becoming?
- If my midlife crisis were actually a midlife awakening, what would it be teaching me?
🎥 Helpful Videos to Deepen Your Understanding
Self – compassion:
And one to fall asleep too, all about self love:
📚 Books I Love for This Topic
The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk
Rushing Women’s Syndrome – Dr. Libby Weaver
Self – Compassion – Kristin Neff PhD
